The Cluttered Gardener

 I've wanted to write a post about my garden for a while, but I have been waiting until it is complete and ready to grow. So, a month later, I came in here into my office to write. And I noticed something that is a thread through everything I do. Clutter. I don't hoard, I don't by any sense mean you can't walk through my house or are going to be grossed out at the sight of it all, it's just cluttered. I have clothes and puzzles to give away, a bass amp, pictures, statues, papers, school bags not in use right now, books, you name it, just in my office.

If you were to walk in my library today, you would also notice it's cluttered. The classroom and circulating part are not, but the office, oh my. Books to catalog, fix or get rid of. Those three or four paper plates and cups left over from the countless events I've had. Art supplies, paper, binders of binders, teacher guides, an old Sears Heading List book from whenever. (I'm going to take it to Antiques Roadshow, lol), posters, batteries  a cabinet full of small electronics, glue. I have two tubs of glue.I have a bean bag couch and seat cushions and pictures and posters my students have made over the years hanging in the window.

What, you may say, does this have to do with a garden? I'm going to tell you the story of my garden, mostly in pictures, then I'm going to tell you why it related to my clutter.

I always want a big project over Spring Break. I guess I like that sense of starting something else and not being able to finish it. (sarcasm button). So I bought a book called Gardening for Dummies, yes I did. Then  consulted with a Facebook friend/soccer team Mom, the lunchroom ladies, and Pinterest. We were ready.

Step One:
Buy a hand tiller and a kid shovel at Lowe's

Step Two:
Layout the plot. I though a 10x10 plot would be perfect for what we wanted to grow.  We measured, set up our stakes, and started removing sod.

 

Step Three, make friends with the underground creatures. Sunshine named this little guy Wormy. He's very creative.

Step Four, pick out seeds and plant them. This seemed like a great idea. The investment, with starting soil, trays and seeds was probably less than $50.00 and enough to plant an acre.It was really great fun planitng them and watching them grow. The seeds germinated and took off very nicely.

 

Step Five, add dirt and mulch to the red, rocky soil underneath the sod.

We bougt 20 bags of manure, and 20 bags of topsoil. So far, the most expensive part of the garden. This cost about $120.00. The I realized I was going to have to use that hand tiller to sow all that dirt and manure into that beautiful red soil, then add  more stuff to the soil to make anything grow. Well, I'm by nature lazy. And my Facebook friend had just posted a picture of her beautiful raised beds that were ready to receive plants. Hmmm, I thought maybe I could build a raised bed. I went to my favotire do it yourself website, Pinterst, and found all kinds of plans to build a raised bed. I had a list with my materials and I headed back to Lowes.

It turns out, Lowe's had these beautiful cedar kits, 4x4, that cost $40.00 each. I said give me two.

 

 

Step Six: assemble and fill the new boxes. This only took us two afternoons They look greatt, though.

 

 

Step seven: Build a scarecrow. Sunshine and I made a trip to the thrift store and picked out a suit of clothes and hat for the scarecrow. You can't see it, but Sunshine drew a great picture of mad eyebrows and spelled out go away crows on the face. This cost another $15.00, but it was better than a new toy.

Step eight: mulch the extra area abound the boxes to make them look neat to  keep the Husband from mowing too close.

Step nine: Add the seedlings.

Step ten: This is where I had to completely re-think the garden. See, all those little seedings died. I didn't follow the proper procedures for hardening, it rained and stormed, and then got cold. I think it was a combination of those things that killed them. So today we went to a most delightful little garden store in Mt. Olive called Roo's Place. (again on the advice of a friend.) There, I found a wonderful assortment of bedding plants, grown in Alabama at a really good price. I decided one bed would be a salsa garden and we would try out some canteloupe and watermelon in the other bed. I put all of thes things in this evening, alone, because Sunshine's allergies are in full gear and now we are ready for veggies! A little bit more money, $34.00, but these girls were awesome, go see them!

Now, back to the clutter nonsense. See,I couldn't plant in this nice little scheme and vegetables only. In the back you can see a pot, and the scarecrow. I also put a tomato plant in that pot. In one corner is a lantana, and throughout the bed are marigold seeds. Along the back of the boxes, I planred sunflower seeds, and in the front right corner there is a garden stone shaped like the United States. (Sunshine's choice.) So in June and July, when this garden is in full swing, I hope it will be beautiful, bountiful and cluttered!

Easter Sunday

I don't really love to cook on a regular basis, but I do love to cook a great holiday meal. I don't aspire to be a gourmet cook, but to make everyone happy with food. So today's blog features our Easter Dinner.

We started the morning with a traditional Easter breakfast of bunny ears.

We had plenty of ham for Sunshine. He loves this kind of "steak". This is a Smithfield picnic ham baked with brown sugar in the crock pot  It doesn't make the prettiest presentation, but I cooked it over-night and didn't even have to slice it. The ham tasted like the ones my Grandmother used to bake. Delicious!

Christy is also a big fan of my Grandmother's cooking, so I made sure we had plenty of southern style potato salad. This is just potatoes  mixed with dill pickles, onions, boiled eggs, mayonnaise  a quick dash of mustard, salt, pepper and dill. No measuring, this is a by instinct recipe, so results may vary. I did get the thumbs up today, though.

Chris loves Deviled Eggs, so I took these up a notch by dyeing the whites a la Pinterest. The cute plate came from Christy. Thanks! (See the salt and pepper chicks?)

Another favorite around here is broiled fresh asparagus. I just lightly coated the stems with olive oil, salt and pepper and broiled for about 5 minutes. The cup behind the asparagus has homemade hollandaise. The asparagus was delicious, the hollandaise was a novelty. 

Dessert was something called a Magic Cake, again a la Pinterest. The cake bakes into layers and tastes like an egg custard with a crust. Very good. It's light (not not in calories, just in air) and not too sweet. 

And my favorite people ready to dig in! 

Happy Easter! 

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We Agnostics

When I started thinking about this post last night and this morning it looked very different from what I think I may write. (No, I'm not always sure.)

Several things have happened this week that have caused me to question or at least examine my views on certain issues.

1. This past weekend I witnessed a non-traditional public joining of a couple. They did not use the word marriage, but instead called the ceremony a binding or handbinding. It was no less than a public commitment ceremony between two people who love each other than what I would traditionally define as a wedding.

2.The United States Supreme Court has heard two cases this week concerning gay marriage. Another non-traditional view of a public declaration of commitment between couples. In the first case, the Supreme Court listened to arguments to determine if the repeal of Proclamation 8 in California was constitutional. Essentially, California legalized gay marriage, a bunch of people got married, then the government said, never-mind  its actually illegal, leaving many couples in limbo. The Court is also hearing arguments about DOMA, Defense of Marriage Act. This Act restricts who may receive federal benefits in a marriage. For instance, if Massachusetts has legalized gay marriage, DOMA will still prevent a spouse from receiving any kind of social security or death benefits for a spouse, and insurance companies can restrict family coverage.It will be a while before we hear the findings of the court, but many view this as important to Civil Rights as the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

3. A dear friend of mine expressed concern for my eternal life. She is not the first, but is one of the few that I take seriously. She is not a Jesus Freak trying to convert everyone to her view, rather she is a humble and Godly woman with strong faith in her beliefs.

4. At school today, a very tricky situation arose. I knew in my heart how to handle it, but still waffled when I felt like I might upset someone or cause an uncomfortable situation, maybe at the cost of kids.

So what in the WORLD could these four things have in common. Quite simply, they all required me to search my moral and ethical belief system. They have all caused me to look at myself and evaluate whether or not I  I'm talking out of both sides of my mouth to keep everyone around me happy or am I standing up for what I believe is right. Here is as honest an answer as I can give.

1. I was extremely skeptical about the handbindng ceremony. I did the same thing I so despise in others. I judged a person's faith and personal religion. I will be the first to defend the United States Constitution and Freedom of Religion. I'll pat myself on the back and brag about having Jewish friends and attending Catholic Mass.  I expect all of my friends and family to simply accept my views as my own. However, I have been guilty too often of not giving these folks the same consideration. As I thought more about the ceremony, it occurred to me that I was scoffing at another's beliefs. Then I realized how brave and true they were to stand up in a very public place among friends and family and proclaim their love and commitment to each other in
an honest way. Oh.

2. I support Gay Marriage and Gay Rights. I support Civil Rights for all people. I hope I have always lived that. I do not plan to wear a PFLAGG shirt to work tomorrow, but I will answer this question honestly. I think that's right. I'll leave the red equal sign on my Facebook page until I have such an adorable picture of my son that I can't stand it, and I'll change the picture. I don't care if it's contentious. It is an incredibly small way to show my support. I can't wait until Nina Tottenburg reads the Court's decision on the radio in a few months.

3. I love my friend dearly. When she initially commented on my after-life, I was tempted to edit my response about the after-life to conform more to her beliefs, because I respect her and don't want to cause any reason for her not to "like" me. Please, that is so high school. After I pondered it last night, I answered her as honestly as I could. Without blubbering detail or rationalization. That was an epiphany, too. I don't have to defend everything.

4. And last, at school. I made a promise to myself a few years ago to protect kids when I felt like they were in a bad situation whether it had to do with a teacher, parent or whatever if I saw something difficult happening. I don't seek these situations out, but there have been too many times that I have sat on the sidelines and watched something happen that shouldn't have. Because I plan to post this publicly, I do not want to go into any detail. I would just like to say it took me more than 20 minutes to react to a situation. Twenty minutes a student should not have had to experience because I did not want to cause a scene or make anybody uncomfortable. I plan to work on my reaction time.

I feel like I should make some proclamation or some kind of summary here. Instead, I think I'll just leave alone.

Note: I took the title of this post from the Chapter 4 of the 2nd Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous. This chapter has probably made more of an impact on my spiritual belief system than any other one thing.)

This song remains the same

If you are a friend that wonders where I am and why I have not posted all kinds of wonderful news about the tons of weight I have lost from my resolve to stick to a plan this year, I bet you can resist the cookie or the second helping.

 If, however, you know where I have been, I can just bet you are a little bit like me. Perhaps you have decided to just be happy with your size. Or maybe you decided you are too grouchy when trying to diet, screw it, it's not worth it. Or maybe, because the weather has been so grim, you just couldn't possibly exercise. It's too cold for heaven's sake. Or maybe you're just tired, hungry, or think oh a nibble won't hurt, give me the whole damn piece,I can't stand to make such a careful grocery list and cook evERY NIGHT WHEN LITTLE CESAR'S PIZZAS ARE 8 BUCKS I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND, GIVE ME A DAMN COOKIE AND A PIECE OF CHEESE...

Well, maybe that's where I've been.

But I bet you could've guessed that.

Wanderlust

I was fussing the other day about something, and a friend of mine commented it was just because i was had "wanderlust." I know this word and have used it on occasion, but I looked up the specific definition. Google dictionry defines it as "a strong desire to travel." Dead on. So I started refelcting on all the different places I've live and different jobs I have had. Following is a brief and probably inaccurate timeline of my wandering.

 1967-1968

I lived in a small trailer with my Mom and Dad on Parris Island, SC

  1968-1970
I lived with my Mom in the same trailer across the street from my Grandmother in Mac's Chapel while my Dad was on deployment to Vietnam

1970-1972
I lived with Mom and Dad in a trailer park in Jacksonville, NC. I'm not sure if it was on base or not, but there was an interesting old man who lived next door who had a white beard and a cane. He gave us cookies and told stories.

1972-1973(?)
We lived in a trailer park in Cherry Point NC. My sister was born while we lived here. I got my first stitches, learned to ride a bike and bought a plastic peace sign at a yard sale for 15 cents. I have a horrible memory of kindergarten, but I remember a very sweet 1st grade teacher.

1973-1975
We moved to a place called Daisy City outside of Graysville AL while my Dad delpoyed to Japan. My parents divorced for the first time during this period. I remember learning to suck the nectar from honeysuckle, playing red light green light in the field, Brookisde Elementary and phonics, and buying ice cream from the truck. I also checked ou Charlie and the Chocolate Factory from the library

1975-1979

My sister and I moved to Millingotn and lived in an apartment with my Dad until we moved the trailer up from AL. Or did we buy a new one? Can't remember. I have great memories of this time. We had races in the road, built forts in the woods and played out until the last minute always. I remember watching Elvis Presley's funeral on TV while I changed into play cltohes. I had sweet teachers, except 4th grade, and my librarian turned me on to Bridge to Terebethia and Judy Blume books. I kissed a boy behind the coat racks in 6th grade. No idea who.

1979-1984

My parents remarried, and we were transferred to Beaufort, SC, back to where I began. I lived in a house on base with my sister and parents until they divorced again in 1984. I have too many memories from this time, but I can still smell the marsh and wish I could still ride my bike to the river to get some crabs. I also had my first of many jobs here. Babysitting and working at a convenience store.

1984-1986
I lived with an older man in Beaufort Not going there.
Worked at convenience store, started and failed out of college.

1986-1989
I moved in with my Grandmother for the first time and started UAB. I worked at Blue Cross Blue Shield for a bit, then Sam's Wholesale Club on Lakeshore Drive.

1989
Fluff Chick and I rented a house in Minor for a while. It was like all the movies you've seen about college. Wild! I worked mainly at Sam's during this time, but also part time as a convenience store clerk.

1990-1997
I lived in a great little apartment on Southside just up from UAB. I have the fondest and the worst memories of this time. This was the period that my addictions grabbed me, chewed me up and spit me out. I loved that little aprtment, though. It had a claw foot tub. I worked first at Sam's, then Western Supermarket in Mountain Brook, then Bruno's in Irondale and a short stint at Toys'r'us in Hoover. I moved from here to my Dad's house, to my Mom's house in SC, back to this apartment, thne finally back to my Grandmother's. Oh, I forgot all about Re-Print, the school supply place I worked at for 3 years. They took really good care of me. Thanks Ray Pate.

1997-1999
Moved back in with Gran, finished that degree! I wroked off and on at Re-Print during this time. I started teaching full time in August of 1999 at Minor High School as the FACS teacher. I had the best mentor teachers ever, and this was before we had "mentor teachers."

February 2000-July 2000
Lieved for a brief time with a friend in Cottondale. Bad move. Long story.

2000-2002
Worked at Erwin High School as a special ed teacher, learned to drive the bus during this time. I rented my Great-grandparents house from my uncle in Mac's Chapel.

2002-2004
Worked at Counseling Center as a teacher where I met Chris. During this time I finally moved back to Southside to a wonderful little apartment in the Highland Park area. It had a great tub, too. Then I married Chris and we moved to the most bizarre little rental house in Avondale. I finished my Master's and went to work at Fultondale Elementary as the EC teacher.

2005-2006

We moved back to Mac's Chapel and bought the house I had rented. I transferred to McAdory High School as the Work Instructor.

Spring/Summer 2006
We lived in an apartment in Downtown Birmingham where Metropolitan Gardens used to be while our house was rebuilt after a fire.

Fall 2006
We moved into our new house in Mac's Chapel, Grandmother died, David was born, we started trying to sell.

Fall 2007
I transferred to West Jefferson Elementary as the school librarian.

Fall 2011

Landed in Corner Alabama, but I'm still the librarian at West Jefferson.

My boots are dusty.

Take the Pill!!

I've written about the dieting failures of the last few weeks, but still have not been able to get re-motivated and re-committed. I feel like this week will be better. I want to talk a little bit today about the mental illness that runs through my family, and how just being lazy can affect me.

I always like to say that I'm the sane one in the family. I used to only take a 10mg dose of an anti-depressant, but over the years that has increased to 40mg. It actually does lots of good things for me I forget about until I forget about taking the medicine. No, I'm not suicidal or violent, in fact I could pass as reasonably functioning, but I'm not really myself. Here is the story.

I'm not exactly sure what problems my younger sister has, but she has been treated for bi-polar disorder. She occasionally goes off her medicine and ends up in some scary situations. My youngest sister began having panic attacks and depressive episodes in high school. She has been taking an anti-depressant of some kind since then. Her medicine has changed from time to time as she's gotten older and her insurance plans have changed. (Yes, the good ole insurance companies get to tell you what they think is best.) She has three children and had to stop taking her medicine each time. She was a basket case by the time she delivered.

My Mom finally started treating her mental illness about 20 years later than she needed to. I would guess for several reasons. The medicine used to be pretty nasty and have lots of side effects, talking about mental illness was taboo, and she drank. When she stopped drinking, she finally realized what a mess she was and got some treatment and medicine.

Meanwhile, as this is happening, I'm getting sober, finishing college, marrying, building a family and all around doing the things I think I'm supposed to. Then I faced several personal tragedies and stresses in a short period of time.I February of 2006 I had been married just two year when our house burned beyond repair and we lost essentially everything. Thankfully, we were fully covered and able to build back our house and acquire everything we needed and more. However, while we were recovery from that, my Grandmother, whom I was extremely close to, was diagnosed with cancer and died just weeks before we closed on the new house in July of 2006.  There were many changes in the way the family that I had always known reacted and some damage was done to those relationships that have taken time to heal. My Mom and sister moved to town into her house (next door to mine) after her death, and almost a year to the day, my Mom died of cancer in August of 2007. I also received my biggest blessing ever, my sweet, beautiful baby boy, two months earlier than expected in January 2007. Life was nuts. My emotions were shot. My OB/Gyn started me on a small dose of an anti-depressant somewhere in all this and said I could try to go off of it any time I wanted.

Well, let me tell you, quitting those drugs is a new experience. The first time I really stopped taking them was in the Spring of 2011. four years is long enough to be crazy, right? However, doctors don't remember to tell the kinds of things that happen when you stop. The biggest issue is blood sugar levels. I was out of town when the blood sugar dropped happened. I actually snatched fruit out of my nephews hands to eat because I thought I was going to die. I totally bottomed out and remained shaky until I got home. My sister told me that's what happens when you quit. So I got home,a and went back on them and decided to wean myself off slowly. I did, without ill effects except for the raving lunatic I became. I was raging and Chris took Sunshine downstairs to get away from me. I could not believe he would do that! I really couldn't see clear enough to realize how I was acting. All that serotonin was firing in my brain, and I couldn't handle it. I swore I would never stop again.

At the beginning of this school year, I started feeling a little weird. I wasn't handling things well and had no real drive to do anything. I though maybe my medicine was too strong, so I quit it and after an irrational crying fit I went to the doctor and he doubled my dose. Jeesh, now I guess I'll be nuts forever.

This was several months ago, and except for a little PMS I've been fine. My medicine ran out last week and  kept meaning to get it filled, and just never got around to it. The funny thing is though, this time as I detoxed, I was in a marvelous mood. We watched a play on Thursday that I thought was hysterical! I had dinner with some friends and was live and animated, maybe too much. I fixed up my library saw kids all week and just enjoyed being with them. I just felt great. So this time, I hit manic instead of depressive. Lord help a crazy person. I enjoyed it.l Okay, now the connection with weight loss. I had no resentment or reason I didn't feel like sticking to my diet this week. I ate pretty healthy, but then would be starving and craving sugar.Also, I had a hard time with my daily constitution and had stomach bloating and pain all week. I had headaches, and by yesterday my blood sugar was totally bottoming out. Then it hit me, "you haven't taken your medicine in a week, dope! In Wal-Mart I had to eat a Reese cup and drink a bottle of water before I could even finish shopping. Because now, remember I'm on twice the medicine so the blood sugar things is worse. I squealed into the pharmacy 6 minutes before they closed and got my refill. I feel better today, well, my mood is more even keel, I do kind of miss that high. I haven't craved sugar as much and the bathroom hasn't been an issue.

All that to say, I think I'll do better this week on my diet, and Take the Pill!!